A night when the light shouldn't die out
(Henry and Emma's living room. Henry is eating rolls ravenously, served on the table with other meals. They are expecting guests).
EMMA: (From behind the scene) Henry, are you doing something at the moment that could make me angry?
HENRY: As usual, I'm just checking if something is missing on the table.
EMMA: So, is anything missing?
HENRY: I think there are too many rolls.
EMMA: (She is now behind him) there are as many as we need.
HENRY: Yes, now that I finished the sorting.
EMMA: Henry, darling, they won't be all eaten tonight. I don't intend to throw out the leftovers, anyway.
HENRY: Of course, we will save the leftovers for other guests. But, everything depends on how much will it have left and for whom. For example, in case of only burnt rolls left, we call the Smiths, the family we announced as guards of the Indian reservation. Do you remember them?
HENRY: Well, it was you who said that the Smiths' children are chocolate idiots, children of elemental, social structure.
EMMA: It is all said, if said, in strongly emotional situation. So, please don't make a definition out of my recklessness. You know that Mrs. Smith is my most intimate friend.
HENRY: That is why I said. If the burnt roles are the only ones left, than white-faced beware of…
EMMA: Could you Mr. Henry take care for your diet only?
HENRY: No, I can't! I'm constantly irritated! My stomach is irritated!
EMMA: My advice for you is - don't think about food.
HENRY: I don't think about it at all.
EMMA: Than, what is the problem?
HENRY: I can't stand the fact that you haven't changed anything in preparing food for years…
EMMA: In preparing...?
HENRY: A salad! Put it this way, a lettuce prepared in an empty tortoise shell, for a change, or frog legs in a plate of swampy water. Sounds tasty?
EMMA: A punch served in a military boot! - How does it sound?
HENRY: I propose to use your mother's mouth instead of using the
Nutcracker. She has just put in new, social, false teeth. Do you recall her words? (He is now imitating her mother) - When I was a young girl, the men were choking in clouds of dust when I passed them by! -
EMMA: Henry, bear in mind that you are talking about my mum.
HENRY: Please, accept my next proposal by way of an apology: - To press the toasts down with our neighbour Anna's buttocks, always hot but quite heavy also.
EMMA: You come into being cynical.
HENRY: I'm only practical, dear Emma.
EMMA: Do you sense some sort of smell?
HENRY: You know that my senses have noting to do with the material world that is why I took you as an extra sense. Tell me what should I say?
EMMA: That something is burning. (She runs towards the kitchen).
HENRY: Exactly! Something is burning. Burniiiiing!
EMMA: (Enters the living room caring totally burned chicken in a baking dish)
HENRY: Its tan is obvious, but what is the origin of the thing you are holding in your hand?
EMMA: It's not funny at all. My guest for tonight has high level of cholesterol in the blood. The doctors recommend only chicken to consume.
HENRY: I've got an idea! Frozen chickens, intended for oral consummation. The difference is that they will be consumed through licking and sucking instead of chewing and they don't influence the cholesterol. It could be of great benefit for your Mr. Guest tonight.
EMMA: Did you say Mr. Guest?
HENRY: Yes, I did! So what?
EMMA: Does it mean that my guest for tonight is…?
HENRY: Wait a second! I think we made an agreement that we are not going to talk about our guests tonight.
EMMA: Than, how do you know that tonight…?
HENRY: I don't know and I don't want to. What I said is nothing more than a result of my recklessness.
EMMA: (Seats on a chair behind the table and lays her head in her palms). I don't remember I have ever talked to you about my Mr. Guest.
(The doorbell is ringing)
HENRY: He is coming!
EMMA: (Anxiously gets up of the chair). Shouldn't they come a little bit later?
HENRY: (In the direction of the door). If it is the predecessor, hide away the rolls. We agreed that we should save some for the Smiths. (He opens the door, enters the Pizza-boy with two pizzas in his hands).
PIZZA-BOY: Your pizzas, Sir. If you allow me Sir, I must say that you ordered the most delicious meal. Your order comes from the best and the most experimental kitchen in the city.
According to your organ Sir, she says she has the best memories. She sends you greetings.
EMMA: Henry, who ordered a pizza?
HENRY: Emma, my dear, you know I order a pizza only from the auto repair shop. (Spare parts store)
EMMA: I'm sorry Henry; I forgot that your species is not liable to eventual development.
HENRY: O, yes at one time I ordered flowers from the flower shop across the street.
PIZZA-BOY: Among other things, my boss (lady-boss) said you were very romantic.
HENRY: My neighbour died. I had made a promise to bring flowers to his grave when he dies, while he was still alive. The idiot supported the opposing football team. (To the Pizza-boy) Which team do you support boy?
PIZZA-BOY: The one that you support, Sir! (Henry is giving money to the boy. The boy is nodding his head).
HENRY: He is a smart boy; it's a pity that he never goes to a football match.
EMMA: I thought you were going to say I ordered flowers for our anniversary. (Ten years of marriage)
HENRY: For our fifth anniversary I went out to buy flowers but all I bought was a pistol.
EMMA: I know.
HENRY: The shop assistant was extremely persuasive. He was walking behind me saying:
'It's obvious you have a problem with your health, Sir. You need something that will burst louder than the rage. Buy a pistol, Sir.
I will give it to you at low price. I like helping people when they are in trouble '.
He simply put it in my pocket.
EMMA: I found it in your under-pants.
HENRY: Of course, when it became part of my intimacy…
Датум последње измене: 2010-06-29 09:05:32